I experienced loneliness after I retired. Starting a small group at my senior center changed everything.
Joe Lamy, a 77-year-old retired teacher from Seattle, has become a beacon of hope for those grappling with loneliness across the nation. Inspired by the declaration of loneliness as an epidemic by former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, Lamy initiated small group meet-ups at his local senior center in 2023. His goal was simple yet profound: to foster social interactions among older adults who might feel isolated. During his first meeting, he was disheartened to see that only half of the attendees felt they had someone to talk to. This realization ignited a passion within him to create a supportive community where individuals could connect, share, and build meaningful relationships.
Lamy’s initiative quickly evolved from a local effort into a nationwide movement, thanks to the support of AARP’s “Create the Good” forum. He discovered that people of all ages were eager to find ways to come together, whether through structured discussions or casual conversations. The groups he helped establish began to flourish, offering activities like pickleball and singing, which not only provided entertainment but also nurtured friendships. As Lamy transitioned from being a facilitator to focusing on broader community efforts, he witnessed the transformation of his local senior center into a “Center for Active Living,” catering to the 50+ community. This shift has attracted younger participants, demonstrating that the desire for connection transcends age.
Lamy’s journey has not only enriched the lives of those around him but has also allowed him to pursue his own passions. Engaging in activities like pickleball and joining a singing group has contributed to his well-being, reinforcing the importance of social health. He emphasizes that the connections individuals forge within their communities can be life-changing, and he takes immense joy in empowering others to seek out their own social networks. Through his story, Lamy highlights the universal need for companionship and the profound impact of fostering community ties, proving that it’s never too late to build connections that enhance our lives.
Joe Lamy is helping people across the country meet with others in their community and foster consistent social interactions.
Courtesy of Joe Lamy
Joe Lamy started small groups at senior centers to help older adults combat loneliness.
Inspired by the loneliness epidemic, Lamy expanded these community groups nationwide for all ages.
Activities like pickleball and singing have helped Lamy and others build lasting social connections.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Joe Lamy, a 77-year-old in Seattle who started
groups at his local senior center
to combat loneliness and now helps more groups develop across the country. It’s been edited for length and clarity.
During our first small group meet-up at my local senior center, I remember asking everyone if they felt like they had anyone to talk to. When only half of the attendees raised their hands, it just broke my heart. I knew we needed to do more to foster social interactions.
I was inspired to start organizing meetups at my local senior center in Seattle in 2023 after Vivek Murthy, the former Surgeon General, declared
loneliness an epidemic
.
However, the group meant even more to me than that. As a retired teacher, I no longer saw people at work every day, and the social interactions I had grown to value were no longer guaranteed.
My small group inspired me to help people across the country start small groups in their own communities through AARP’s
“Create the Good” forum
.
I’ve found that people want to find ways to get together. All it takes is a few people willing to talk to each other.
Do you have a story to share about combating loneliness? Contact this reporter at
asheffey@businessinsider.com
.
I found a sense of belonging at my senior center meet-ups
Our conversations initially followed a structured format, using online question prompts, but they gradually evolved into free-flowing discussions where we would discuss whatever was on our minds. I tried to steer clear of political topics that could alienate people and instead focused on the ultimate goal — inclusivity.
Starting the group helped me feel more
connected to my community
. I created so many new friendships and activities that I barely have any time to worry about aging.
The senior center has opened up to younger people seeking connection
I’ve since stopped serving as a facilitator at my local Seattle senior center, but it has expanded significantly in the past year. It now offers more classes, special lectures, and presentations — and it has even rebranded from a senior center to a “Center for Active Living,” expanding its focus to
the 50+ community
. I’ve noticed an increase in people in their 50s coming in, along with more activities, such as line dancing and fitness classes.
It’s
not just older adults
who desire connection. While younger generations might still have family ties and social interactions through their careers, they’re hungrier than ever for long-term connections.
It’s so rewarding to see new groups popping up everywhere
I’m now focusing on
larger community efforts
and building other small groups, and it fills me with joy knowing that people are enjoying their connections and are richer for the new bonds they’ve formed.
I’ve seen some groups go to restaurants on a weekly basis, and others that meet at a local library or church. Some groups even gather around a few picnic tables at a public park and just chat.
The more they get to talk with each other, the more trust they can build, and the more they become vulnerable and open to sharing situations about themselves.
Pickleball and singing have become my own sources of community
While helping to build these communities, I’ve also begun to focus more on pursuing my own passions. I’ve
taken up pickleball
, which has been great for my health and helped me build new friendships. We respect each other on the court, and we can talk about what we’ve been up to off the court. The laughter and conversations have nourished me in ways hard to put into words.
I’ve also joined a
singing group for older adults
and pay a small fee to participate in Seattle Town Hall’s various events, which include intellectually stimulating lectures and discussions.
Our social health depends on the connections we can incorporate into our lives, and for me, these social interactions have been a lifesaver. I’m grateful for the chance to empower so many others to find the connections that bring them a sense of belonging.
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