We live 16 hours from my in-laws. My kids have close relationships with their grandparents, despite rarely seeing them.
In a heartfelt reflection on maintaining family bonds across long distances, the author shares her experience of raising two young boys, ages 6 and 8, who live about 1,000 miles away from their grandparents. Despite the physical distance between their home in north-central Kansas and the grandparents in southern Mississippi, the family’s connection remains strong, largely thanks to modern technology. The children engage in regular FaceTime calls with their grandparents, affectionately referred to as Meme and Pops, which have become a cherished part of their daily routine. The author highlights how these calls allow her children to share snippets of their lives, from breakfast chats to showing off their latest backyard projects, creating a sense of closeness that transcends miles.
These virtual interactions are not just a substitute for in-person visits; they are vital for nurturing the children’s relationships with their grandparents. The author notes that her youngest son often wakes up early to catch Meme before she starts her workday, while her older son, who prefers to sleep in, sometimes feels left out. The excitement of receiving gifts in the mail from Meme and Pops adds an extra layer of joy to their interactions, reinforcing the emotional ties that bind the family together. The author also mentions their occasional family trips, such as a memorable summer gathering in Branson, Missouri, which provided a much-needed opportunity for everyone to reconnect and create lasting memories.
Planning these visits is a logistical challenge, balancing budget constraints and time off work, but the family makes the most of their time together. This Christmas, they are looking forward to making the long drive to visit their grandparents for the first time in two years, an event that has been eagerly anticipated by the children and their father. The author’s narrative captures the essence of modern family life, where technology plays a crucial role in bridging distances and fostering relationships, ensuring that even when they cannot be together physically, love and connection remain strong.
The author’s kids (not pictured) don’t see their grandparents regularly, but they FaceTime often.
Bonfanti Diego/Getty Images/Image Source
We live about 1,000 miles from my in-laws and don’t see them often.
My two kids, 6 and 8, still have close relationships with their grandparents.
They talk regularly over FaceTime and make the most of the visits we do have.
Most mornings, my 6-year-old is the first one awake; we chat while I get coffee, and I ask if he wants to call his Meme —
my mother-in-law
, and his grandmother. This is one of the only times of the day he can catch her, so if he’s up early enough, he almost always takes the opportunity.
He eats his oatmeal and FaceTimes her until she arrives at work or is needed by an employee. Then it’s time for him to call Pops, who arrives at work slightly later in the morning. More often than not, he’s on his commute and chats during his drive.
My 8-year-old
prefers to sleep in
and is continually grumpy that he doesn’t get the same talking time with breakfast.
They do the same after school or in the evenings, depending on schedules. They love to take their grandparents around the house or
out in the yard
while they play. No doubt they are dizzy with the poor camera work. The boys share about their day, including what they had for lunch or what they played during recess. They show what they’ve been working on in the backyard.
They don’t live close by, so these phone calls are important
If Meme and Pops can’t answer or pick up, I hear about it. We don’t see them in person often, and this time is precious. Although we are in the same time zone, we are in north-central Kansas, and they are in southern Mississippi — about 1,000 miles away. Driving takes 16 hours; by plane, it’s four and a half.
These regular calls allow my kids to have
close relationships with their grandparents
. A few times a year, the boys also get gifts in the mail — a box of goodies my in-laws have purchased over the last few months. Occasionally, I’ll also get a Venmo from Meme, saying to take the boys for ice cream or let them pick a treat. There is a dual excitement of first spending the money and then getting to tell her and Pops about it afterward.
Meanwhile, my husband and I both call them fairly frequently as well. He’s an
avid FaceTime user
, while I prefer to chat on the phone while I fold laundry or do dishes. I send pictures almost daily, giving updates of what the boys have been up to that day. Last week, I sent pictures of our son’s artwork and journal entries for school, a headband my youngest son made, and photos from “Dude’s Day,” when my husband and our boys dressed up to go out for lunch.
We don’t see them in person often but we make the most of it when we do
Planning our visits is a constant juggling of budgets and schedules. Due to
limited PTO
and money, we aren’t able to visit often. We’ve flown previously but prefer the freedom of driving because we can stop and eat along the way, and it’s easier to take all our luggage; however, driving does take more time, so we have to factor that in when considering a trip.
This summer, we met up in Branson, Missouri, which is about halfway between our respective homes. It was great for everyone — plenty of family time, and larger digs, as we split the cost. Plus, we had Meme and Pops as
built-in babysitters
. And yes, the boys got super spoiled the entire time — they said it was the best trip ever, over and over again.
This Christmas, we’ll make the 16-hour drive to their home. It’s the first time we’ll be making the trip in two years, and my kids (and husband) have been counting down for six months. There’s a running list of where we will go, restaurants to visit, and dishes that need to be tried. There have also been a few in-depth conversations about how Santa will know how to find them.
Last year, they flew to us for the week of Christmas. We picked them up in Kansas City, where we spent a few nights exploring before heading to our house.
We never get to spend enough time in person, but at these stages in our lives, it’s what we are able to make work. Thankfully, with technology, we can communicate regularly, even when we can’t be together in person.
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