Folan: Gratitude finds its way home
Thanksgiving is a time steeped in tradition, and for Dr. Peter F. Folan, it is a poignant reminder of the deeper significance of the dining room table. In his reflective piece, he recounts how his family’s Thanksgiving gatherings at their home on Munroe Street were not merely about the food—roasting turkey and cornbread—but rather about the love, gratitude, and identity that flourished around that table. Dr. Folan vividly remembers his childhood, with his father, a World War II Navy veteran, and his mother, the quintessential hostess, who always ensured that everyone was taken care of before she sat down. The table, adorned with gleaming china and polished silver, became a sacred space where stories were shared, laughter echoed, and meaningful debates unfolded, all culminating in a sense of grace that enveloped the room.
As the years passed, the table bore witness to the family’s milestones and sorrows alike, from joyous celebrations like birthdays and graduations to somber farewells before his parents’ funerals. This year, however, marks a significant change; for the first time in 45 years, Dr. Folan will not celebrate Thanksgiving in that beloved home, as his family has moved. While the physical space holds a wealth of memories, he reflects on the understanding that home is not confined to a structure but is instead carried within us. The love and gratitude cultivated around the table transcends its physical presence, reminding us that true hospitality is about honoring those we gather with, rather than merely impressing them.
As Dr. Folan prepares to host Thanksgiving at a new table, he embraces the continuity of family and tradition, recognizing that while the setting may change, the essence of love and connection remains steadfast. He emphasizes that gratitude is a daily practice, not just a moment before a meal, and it is this mindset that allows us to find joy even in difficult times. This Thanksgiving, as he gathers with loved ones, he will carry forward the lessons learned at his childhood table, ensuring that each meal shared is filled with laughter, stories, and an enduring sense of belonging. In his heartfelt message, Dr. Folan invites us all to reflect on the meaning of gratitude and the importance of the people who fill our homes, wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving filled with love and warmth.
Every Thanksgiving, as kitchens fill with the scent of roasting turkeys and cornbread cooling on the counter, I’m reminded that the dining room table has always been more than a place to eat. It’s where we learn who we are — where gratitude takes root and love takes shape. In my family, our table didn’t just serve meals; it built our home.
For as long as I can remember, Thanksgiving meant gathering in my parents’ house on Munroe Street. I can still see myself as a kindergartener, while my father, a World War II Navy veteran, and my mother, the Martha Stewart of Munroe Street, welcomed family, friends, and neighbors.
My mother always wore a fancy apron and kept a dishtowel draped over her shoulder. She was the last to sit — only when everyone else had what they needed. The china gleamed, the Waterford sparkled, and the silver was polished. Around that table, we shared stories, laughter, and the kind of lively debate that usually ended in grace.
Over the years, that table witnessed every chapter of our lives — birthdays, graduations, Christmas mornings — as if the chairs remembered our names. There were solemn gatherings too: quiet dinners before each of my parents’ funerals, when the air was heavy, but love held us up. Our table knew our joy and our sorrow.
When I married and had children, life came full circle. I bought my childhood home when my oldest was in kindergarten. A new table, the same dining room — the same rhythm of gratitude and belonging continued. But this year is different. For the first time in 45 years, my family won’t celebrate Thanksgiving in that house. We moved. The room that held so much of our story now belongs to someone else.
Change, as it always does, tugs at the heart. There’s an ache in closing a door for the last time, but I’ve come to understand that a house is only the frame — home is what we carry within it. The love that filled those rooms doesn’t stay behind; it travels with us. Gratitude turns any house into a home.
When we host others this season, let’s remember we’re called not just to feed them, but to honor who they are. True hospitality isn’t about impressing anyone; it’s about making room for them.
Gratitude was something my mother practiced long before I understood the word. It wasn’t a moment before the meal; it was the way she moved through the world. Even when life was difficult and she battled leukemia, she still set her table with care. Thanksgiving isn’t something we feel only when life is easy. It’s a daily habit that helps us see how much good surrounds us.
This Thanksgiving, I’ll sling a dishtowel over my shoulder, and we’ll gather around a new table, laughing over old stories and sharing new ones. Though the table may be different, what gathers around it hasn’t changed: the people, the laughter, and the way love builds a home.
With every meal we share this year, may gratitude find its way home, reminding us of who we are and how we belong.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Dr. Peter F. Folan is the Head of School at Dexter Southfield
