I’m married to an NFL player. We have 2 homes, and our 3 kids go to different schools to accommodate his schedule.
Clarke Byard, the wife of Chicago Bears safety Kevin Byard III, shares her journey of balancing family life and the demands of her husband’s NFL career in a heartfelt essay. The couple, who met in high school, has been together for over 15 years and married since 2018. Their relationship has evolved alongside Kevin’s football career, which began in Tennessee after college. Clarke reflects on the unique challenges faced by NFL spouses, likening it to the life of military families, though she acknowledges the differences in safety concerns. With three young children—Eliana, 6, Kevin IV, 4, and Amari, 2—Clarke has had to adapt to the unpredictable nature of the NFL, including moving to Chicago during the season to keep the family together.
The Byard family maintains a dual residency, living in Tennessee year-round while renting a home in Chicago during the NFL season. Clarke emphasizes the importance of stability for their children, enrolling them in private schools in both states to ensure continuity in their education. This arrangement, however, comes with its own set of challenges, as the kids often miss their friends and activities back in Tennessee. Clarke has found support from other NFL wives, who have mentored her in navigating the complexities of being a partner to a professional athlete. She is committed to paying it forward by helping younger wives and balancing her role as a mother while managing the family’s hectic schedule.
Amid the chaos, Clarke cherishes the moments spent with her children and is learning to embrace the unpredictable nature of their lives. She has recently started outsourcing tasks to create more quality time with her family, recognizing the importance of making memories together, especially given Kevin’s limited availability due to his football commitments. Clarke’s story is a testament to the resilience and adaptability of families in the professional sports world, highlighting the joys and struggles of motherhood intertwined with the demands of an NFL career. As she continues to navigate this journey, her focus remains on creating a loving and supportive environment for her children, making the most of every moment.
Clarke Byard is married to Chicago Bears safety Kevin Byard III.
Courtesy of Clarke Byard
Clarke Byard is married to Chicago Bears safety Kevin Byard III.
The couple lives in Tennessee, but moves to Chicago for about six months each year.
Their daughter is enrolled in two different schools.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with
Clarke Byard
, cofounder of
The Byard Family Legacy Fund
. It has been edited for length and clarity.
Kevin was the new kid when we met in 10th grade. I was busy dancing; he was busy joining the football team. Eventually, our circles overlapped, and we
started dating
.
By 11th grade, however, I dumped him. He wanted to do football
camps all summer
instead of hanging out with me. But by senior year, we got back together, and the rest is history. We’ve been together for over 15 years and have been married since 2018.
Kevin played college
football in Tennessee
, and I attended Howard University in Washington, D.C. Being apart during that time was nice — we each had our own space to focus. After college, I had a hard time deciding whether to stay in D.C. or move to Tennessee to be with him. I knew being committed to Kevin would also mean being committed to his football career.
We created a home in Tennessee, where Kevin started his career
Some people in the NFL compare being married to a player to being a
military spouse
. I don’t think that’s quite right (my grandpa was a military man, and I know we don’t have the same safety concerns), but there are many similarities. I knew I couldn’t get a traditional job, since we’d have to move suddenly if Kevin were traded.
Clarke Byard and her husband Kevin rent a house in Chicago to have the family together during the NFL season.
Courtesy of Clarke Byard
Kevin is now playing his 10th NFL season, and our family life is shaped by his career. We have three kids: Eliana, 6; Kevin IV, 4; and Amari, 2. Kevin is a hands-on dad. He even delivered our second at home when I
gave birth
much faster than expected. We weren’t planning to name the baby Kevin, but after that, we had to.
Although we were raised in Georgia, Tennessee is our home now. It’s where Kevin attended school and began his professional career. We own a house there, and have a wonderful community that includes a lot of former professional athletes.
We pay full-time tuition to keep our private school spots
When Kevin signed with the
Chicago Bears
last year, I thought I would stay in Tennessee during the season. I even hired a nanny to help with the kids. But we missed him too much, and he missed us.
Now, we rent a home in Chicago during the NFL season. We pay full-time tuition for Eliana and Kevin at a school in Tennessee. It’s hard to get into, and we don’t want to lose their spots. Eliana is also enrolled at a private school in Chicago when we’re here.
Clarke Byard’s kids are enrolled in private schools in two states.
Courtesy of Clarke Byard
I know this setup will get more difficult as the kids get older. It’s already tricky because they miss their friends and extracurriculars in Tennessee. But our friends there are great, and they come to visit us in Chicago.
The NFL wives support and mentor each other
Other wives helped me learn how to navigate being a partner and mother during NFL season. By now, I feel like I know how to handle it. I’ve learned to go along with the chaotic part of our lives, rather than fight against it. I focus on the good things it brings.
I try to pay that guidance forward by mentoring other wives. The kids and I attend every home game. They love running around with the kids of other Bears’ players. Recently, a young wife — who is expecting twins — asked me how I do it. I was like, “Girl, I got you.”
Clarke Byard supports other NFL wives.
Courtesy of Clarke Byard
I help run our foundation, but mostly I’m OK being home during this phase of my life. I see a lot of the younger wives and girlfriends trying to wear so many hats. I don’t feel pressure to do more things that could take away from time with my kids.
I’m working on outsourcing more
Being on a schedule helps us make the most of Kevin’s limited free time. I recently got one of those digital calendars, and it will send Kevin a notification an hour before the kids’ activities. He tries to make an appearance, even if it’s only for a few minutes.
On weekdays, he gets home at about 6 p.m., and the kids are in bed at 7:30, so we need to make the time count. If he has a Friday off, we’ll have a movie night or go to the pumpkin patch — anything to create those memories.
I’m trying to be better at outsourcing. I just recently hired a babysitter. I’m thinking about an au pair, but I grew up as an only child, and I’m not sure I’m up for having someone else living in the house.
Ultimately, my heart is content when I’m home with my kids, having those experiences while they’re young that I can’t get back.
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Business Insider
Eric
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